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We Found a Totally Real Copy of Donald Trump’s Canceled CPAC Speech

On Friday, Donald Trump’s campaign announced he would skip his much-anticipated speech at the annual Conservative Political Action Conference today to campaign in Kansas and hotly contested Florida. Trump’s absence was the talk of the convention, leaving supporters and detractors equally disappointed.

But fear not. We got our hands on a copy of the (obviously completely real) speech Trump planned to deliver. Here it is, in its entirety:

[MR. TRUMP ENTERS STAGE RIGHT] [MR. TRUMP WAVES GOODBYE, EXITS STAGE LEFT]

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